Excuse me, Are we losing respect?

How can we have a common understanding unless we respect each other? And how can we respect each other unless we share a common understanding with each other?

Another apparent bootstraps and skyhooks question.

One of the primary points I made in ‘God? talk’ is that sometimes we have to go back to the soup. Most of us are not really in shape to closely follow NPR or FOX News let alone the Supreme Court. All that lack of understanding is mostly just fodder for fighting and disrespecting each other. Instead, we need to  go way back to the fundamentals – we need to begin by creating circumstances where people – our fellows by proximity - just are together, without complicated expectations, were self-evidence abounds. People who come to listen to music in a park or watch fireworks on the Fourth of July, for example.

Oh, the misbehaving brat over there, you say. The jerks on the next blanket drinking too much and talking too loudly, you point out. And so what?

If a community of mutual respect will ever be able to form, these closer encounters are the places where it must start one way or another - with people simply being together, people practicing extremely small amounts of respect for one another. Frankly, we first must manage the small stuff before we can tackle the tough stuff. And so I say, forego the national arena, and turn to the sidewalks of downtown, or places like parks or malls or sporting events.

Now it’s true that we have come to live in an age where our elbows don’t naturally bump very often. We’re less often out on the front porch or just walking by on the sidewalk. Driving on the streets, we usually pass each other with tinted windows rolled up. If it weren’t for the grocery store, some people might never have to say ‘excuse me’ again.

Our advanced society has so progressed to the point where humans don’t touch or make eye contact except in proscribed settings. When do we get the chance to ask for help or to give it - to need each other directly? When is a just a little respect even called for? Of course, we see many large examples of disrespect. We’re so out of practice, for one thing. Self-service may in fact represent the death of our culture. And maybe it’s time to simply hold doors for each other once again.

I suggest that first we stand closer together. Then – if we are willing to try – we can begin to notice what we admire in the strangers whose elbows are nearby. And if we are lucky, a Frisbee will go astray and we will smile and toss it back.

It’s never been true that human beings start with strong mutual respect and common complex understandings – although we do have a cooperative nature to match our competitive side. But as with anything worthwhile, cooperation needs to be exercised. Good behavior must be practiced and acknowledged. We won’t be able to start with working out gay marriage or tax breaks – although we’ll have to settle for some stopgap solutions until we are mature enough to talk about those kinds of issues. We have apparently painted been traveling the wrong directions for some time.

To me it is clear: I think we’re going to have to go back to basics and work with Frisbees and  passing the soy sauce to the next table. You start with the soup and build community from there.